It’s not you 2012, it’s me.

2012; you’re going away today and I have to be honest; I am not that sad to see you go. I don’t really blame you, 2012. Well, I kind of do, but I realize that you were just the wrong time in the wrong place in my life.

We had some good times, 2012. I had some great times this year with my friends, not nearly enough time with my family. You introduced me to a lot of good people, like Le Clown, Madame Weebles, The Ringmistress, on top of scores of other bloggers who feel like friends to me (like really, too numerous to mention.. I love you all!). I even got to meet some in real life, like Love and Lunchmeat and Lame Adventures. Both of those meetings were as great as I expected them to be and affirmed how much I love meeting new people. I went with you to New York for the first time, I got to hang out on the beach in PEI for a week. I watched my beautiful kids turn 3, surrounded by dinosaurs and bikers. I fulfilled my lifelong dream of keeping bees, which is something only you gave me, 2012. I will always be grateful for that.

Rockin' the freezies like a boss on my kids' birthday.

Rockin’ the freezies like a boss on my kids’ birthday.

But mostly 2012, you were a bit of a downer. Admittedly, 2011 being such an asshole didn’t help your cause. My expectations were too high for any year to come along, being as naive as I was about how house floods and insurance and all that kind of baggage that 2011 left behind. When I left 2011, I didn’t realize how much of a mess I was and that wasn’t the best way to start my relationship with you. You were a bit of a rebound, really. I was just so excited for 2011 to be over, I was ready to just jump into the next year without any forethought. That’s my fault 2012. I could have predicted you wouldn’t be the year for me, but I was blind.

But man, you made 2011 look like a goddamn saint. I mean, within the first two months of you I had been sued, accused of insurance fraud, and had to pay for a second round of renovations for my house because 2011 delivered me the worst, most malicious contractor in the world. You brought along illness and disease. You claimed our dog. Then you claimed Mr. Giraffe’s aunt. We tried to fix things by going on holidays with you, but you were just an emotional vortex, 2012. Seriously. Everyone I know who was involved with you says the same thing. Even when I tried to relax you threatened me with Superstorm Sandy, and you seriously affected some of my friends with it. I take that kind of thing personally, 2012. No holiday went unpunished this year, no weekend unsullied by your constant pressure. You even delivered the worst kind of experimental jazz at every opportunity you could, ruining a whole music genre for me, and waited until I was on my own traveling with twins to give us all a stomach virus. Way to go, 2012. I feel like you could at least clean the puke out of my van, but I just want you to go.

Anyway 2012, I know you’re moving on, and I am glad because I think we aren’t good for each other. If indeed time travel ever does become possible, please don’t call. Don’t write. Just pretend that you never happened. Don’t try to undo all the shitty things that happened this year, 2012, because we both know that would be a lie. Even if you could change how things went, you can’t change who you are, 2012. You were just full of negative energy. If things were different, I might be tempted to go back to you and I think that we both agree that our relationship is pretty toxic.

Instead, just gently let me go to 2013. I am moving forward with lowered expectations, a bit more calm. I am just going to embrace whatever 2013 brings and not try to change 2013’s ways, like I did to you. And with that I say adieu, 2012. Go fuck yourself.

I want this exact statue on my grave when I die

This will be my permanent attitude in 2013 and beyond.

And to all my readers, I hope 2013 is brilliant and kind to everyone. Happy New Year!

44 comments

          1. I’ll never make that resolution because I know I’ll break it as soon as I make it if not while making it! You too, here’s hoping for a fabulous 2013 all round :)

  1. Jen,
    I’ve been a witness to your adventures on WordPress, and in the behind the scenes… Amid all the shit that you’ve gone through this year, you’ve kept the higher hand, even if it times it seemed otherwise. You’re an inspiration to me, and one of 2012’s highlights for me, Jen. You’re a friend to me, and my family. Love you (yep, PDA big time, fuck face).
    Le Clown

    1. Aww Le Clown, don’t go getting all mushy on me now. You and Sara are some of my favourite peeps, and I am glad to chat with you guys every day, get bee cards in the mail and be called fuckface every morning. Really nice touch. I know that 2013 will be an amazing year for you guys, and I look forward to hearing all about it.

    1. And the same to you Guapo. It’s interesting how there was a collective energy meltdown for so many this year, and by interesting, I mean terrible. I hope this year is amazing for you!

    1. A year of bunny hills it is! I love that philosophy so much more than trying to achieve all big things, which is how I spent 2012 trying to undo all the bad stuff. I am looking forward to just a bunch of little stuff, making myself happy a little at a time. Thank you for that. And a very happy new year to you and your family. I hope 2013 is great!

  2. It really was lovely meeting you and Kris last fall, Jen. You guys are a very cool couple. I’m sorry that 2012 struck such a downbeat for you and I hope that 2013 will bring happier times your way and maybe if you’re lucky a taxidermied beast or two. I’m very glad that I’ve gotten to know you.

  3. Jen,
    Well put. Good riddance to 2012. Love the attitude photo – too! I know 2013 will be a fantastic year for you, filled with good times, great writing and easy bunny hills – to quote Amy! Best to you and yours, Jen!
    Hugs,
    Cathy

    1. Your lips to the great pumpkin in the sky’s ears, Cathy! Wishing you the best for 2013, and I count you among one of the many people I am grateful to have met this year. Your blog, your life is inspiring!

  4. I am seriously starting a Weebles Hall of Fame Posts page so that this can be the first inductee. I LOVE THIS POST. You had more than your share of crap this year—you apparently also accidentally got the shares of about ten other people, and they should take their crap back. I admire how you’ve slogged through it all because I’d probably be in the corner, whimpering in the fetal position.

    Here’s to an awesome 2013, and to more of those smokin’ hot pictures of you deep-throating a freezie and straddling a bovine.

    1. Aww Weebs.. I have never been the inaugural anything before. Can I wear a crown for a couple of days? Thanks for all of your support through the crap, and let’s hope for happier e-mails this year. I heart you lady, bigtime. Happy 2013, my friend.

    1. It really did suck, didn’t it? The Newtown shooting, and so many other tragic news stories. It just seems like there was a whole lot of bad energy in the world. Here’s wishing you a bright, shiny New Year right back!

    1. I am not even joking when I saw that I witnessed a guy playing drums on his own face this year. After I saw a guy raining a handful of drumsticks over his drumkit, not being satisfied with the result, and doing it again with a full 30 second pause for clapping afterwards.

    1. No joke. It was terrible. Without going into details, one announced the arrival of his sickness while puking on my face. That was a lot of details actually. This is my first comment of 2013 and I am kind of hammered.

  5. Jen, wishing you and the family a WONDERFUL 2013. The way you felt about 2012 is the way I felt about 2010. I don’t think a year of my life sucked harder than that year.

    1. Nancy, It does seem that everyone has a year or two of their lives that just sucks rocks. But everyone I know who has had those years has survived them and become better people for it, yourself included. A hearty Happy New Year to you and your family!

  6. After-the-fact you have so eloquently surmised 2012 for the crapshoot that it has been. You have been through some rough days/nights/renos/puking and I wish you only the best for these next 364 days.
    Let’s think happy thoughts and include the Bees in there as well. (I love the Bees.)
    Looking forward to hearing about what 2013 brings and how you so adeptly manage it all.
    All the best to you!
    Tania

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