Sweet nothings in the shower

Now you’re probably expecting something racy, but I assure you that this ends in booze fueled accusations. We are living in a rental place with a very excellent shower. I do find myself bored in there after 30-40 minutes of steam action although my landlady assured me that “ladies love the body sprayers”. I have yet to find out why ladies might like them. Perhaps someone can tell me. So far they just feel like I’d imagine standing in a carwash would feel.

ANYWAY.¬† My husband is obviously bored in the shower too, because I keep finding messages on the wall made with our kids’ foam letters like “FIT SHUCKERS” and “GOOSE LUCK”. Yesterday was:

Note creative use of "v" to replace missing "a". So proud.

Some men might want to leave sweet messages for their family, so I am trying hard to find the meaning in all of this.

Today I found this:

What does it all mean????

This didn’t seem to have any meaning until tonight when I was drinking wine in the shower (STOP JUDGING ME) and saw that the outline of HUGE was still there:

Freudian slip of foam letter shower messages

Is my husband trying to say I have a huge boospie? What does that mean? I can’t think of anything singular that you’d want a huge one of (unless, obviously, you’re a dude). Does it mean bum? Does it mean nose? Does it mean forehead? None of these things are good if they’re huge. I don’t know.. whatever it is.. I BORE YOUR CHILDREN, OF COURSE I HAVE A HUGE BOOPSIE.

Although, to be fair, if it means ass, it’s probably all that Halloween candy and goat’s cheese and I can’t rightfully blame it on the twins because I burn way more calories chasing after them than I could ever hope to consume between tantrums. One of our sons¬† kept yelling “BIG BUM” while patting me on the tush at the mall, and I couldn’t even go and sob like I wanted to. I had to congratulate him on his burgeoning language skills.

So to my husband: a simple U R HOT or NICE CAN would suffice. The last thing I need is to be contemplating this while I am standing naked in the shower wondering what ladies like about body sprayers.

I will let my husband have the last word on this one though.

Indeed.

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11 comments

  1. You are entirely too funny, lady. And I prefer beer in the bath- no risk of the drink being watered down by over spray.

  2. Hahaha hilarious! I wish I had kid letters at my disposal in the shower. Ooh the messages I would leave :P Awesome blog, looking forward to reading more!!

  3. I love the view from the other side of the glass… it kind of forces you to imagine you were there (don’t worry, I really wasn’t). And then it makes the one shot from the other side stand out that much more. Bravo. And did you ever find out why the ladies like those spray thingies?

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