Rapid Mess Dispersal Units: Product Review

Several years ago we felt like our lives had too much order and neatness, so we brought a set of twins Rapid Mess Dispersal Units (RMDU) into our home. We’ve been fairly impressed with the results; unlike most machinery that breaks down over time, the RMDU’s seem to be increasing their efficiency at a frightening pace.

To test the efficiency of this tool, I gave the RMDU’s an advertising newspaper as a substrate and did time-lapsed photography to show the results.

Minute 1

RMDU's approach substrate

Note the aggression and intensity toward completing the task. One RMDU is elbowing the other RMDU to get to the substrate. A pair of RMDU’s can be quite noisy during this process, and I would definitely put that in the hilarious column when considering acquiring RMDU’s.

Minute 2

RMDU's break down substrate material

The substrate is completely broken down.

Minute 3

Oh shit, we lost the RMDU's

The RMDU’s appear to have abandoned the task, but are in fact moving faster than the camera dispersing the substrate throughout the test area.

RMDU's working on complete dispersal

Note the thoroughness in ensuring that the mess is dispersed vertically.

Minute 4

By this point, the mess had reached complete saturation in the test area; although I could not get a photo of this final stage as one of the RMDU’s was ingesting the substrate. This is another drawback to RMDU’s; sometimes their enthusiasm for the task means that the substrate gets clogged in their internal workings. However, I am pleased that their efficiency seems to be progressing at an exponential rate, and I would be hard pressed to say that if you’re looking to dispersed mess quickly and efficiently throughout your home, that RMDU’s aren’t the way to go. They’ve been an excellent investment on that front.